10 Red Flags on a Date: Bad Signs for the Relationship

Red flags are signs that you and your date are unlikely to have a bright future as a couple. In this article you will find out which ten red flags you should definitely not ignore.

Red Flag is a slang term that indicates signs of danger. A red flag is hoisted, for example, as a warning to the military or when bathing is prohibited on the beach.

In social networks, users like to use it in relation to (romantic) relationships and dating. For example, if you see red flag behavior in your partner while dating, it indicates that no matter how well you both seem to be a good match, the two of you are unlikely to have a happy future as a couple.

In this article, we explain ten red flags that you should pay attention to on a date. Good to know: Many of the red flags can also be related to new acquaintances in general and can therefore warn you against a toxic friendship, for example.

Red flags on the date: communication

Nonviolent communication is one of the most important foundations for healthy relationships. For this reason, you should pay attention to how your date talks to you, to others, and about others right from the start.

1. Inconsistent communication: The first red flag can be visible even before the first date. Regardless of whether you met on a dating app or met offline – the first meeting for two is usually preceded by a phase of communication via smartphone. Is it mainly you who keeps the contact going? The other person often needs several days to reply? Is she possibly postponing an already arranged date without a plausible reason? All of this indicates that the other person is probably not as interested in you as you are in them.

2. Rudeness and bad language: Pay attention to how your partner talks to and about others on a date. For example, is the person condescending to cafe staff? Does she gossip about other people? Does she blame others in conflicts and does she gaslight? Does she label exes as “crazy” or “toxic” without reflecting on her own role? Then you can be sure that it is only a matter of time before your date starts talking to you and about you in this way.

3. Fake compliments: Your date compliments you, but they come off as odd. Examples include: “You look good for your age.”, “I’m not usually into curves, but I find you attractive.”, “You’re pretty, but you’d look even better with long hair.” These are probably the first signs that your date is not accepting you for who you are.

Inattention as a red flag on a date

Mental presence is a sign that your date is genuinely interested in you and is able to form a deeper connection with you. The following Red Flags indicate that the opposite is the case:

4. Smartphone addiction: Your date constantly checks his/her smartphone during your meeting? The person may even take a call without your express consent and have a longer conversation? Barring emergency situations, this is a definite red flag behavior and indicates that the other person cannot be present with you and is also ignoring your feelings about it.

5. Self-centeredness: If your date only talks about themselves and only asks you a few superficial questions, this is another red flag. It suggests that the other person would take up a lot of space in a relationship, leaving less space for you. Furthermore, it is difficult to establish a deep connection if you do not feel seen and heard by the other person.

Different expectations on the date

The dating phase is about getting to know each other and finding out if you are a good match as a couple. The fact that both have different expectations of the connection is normal and simply information for you that it is not a “match” with this person. The following red flags can help you get clarity:

6. Your date wants too much too quickly: The other person showers you with compliments and talks about marriage and children on the first three dates? This can feel good at first. But it can also be a sign that the other person is rushing to connect without giving you time to really get to know each other. At its worst, this is a feature of love bombing, a strategy used by individuals with narcissistic personality disorder.

7. Your date is too hesitant: It’s perfectly fine to ask on a date what kind of relationship your partner is up to. If his/her answer is evasive, but the person still shows sexual interest in you, you can assume that he/she is probably not looking for a committed relationship right now. While this may be a perfectly legitimate desire of the person, honesty about it is very important.

8. Hide-and-seek: Even if your date doesn’t tell their friends about you or avoids being seen with you in public places, this is a sign that your contact is unlikely to develop into a committed relationship.

Red Flags: Exceeding limits on the date

Setting and respecting boundaries is another essential skill in healthy relationships. If your date is disregarding your boundaries, it’s red-flag behavior:

9. Crossing Boundaries: Notice how the other person reacts when they don’t get what they want. Does she respect your boundary with understanding and without argument? Or does she start arguing or even sulking with you?

The following are examples of red flag behavior:

• You want to meet in a public place on the first date, but the other person is trying to persuade you to come over to their house.
• You say you don’t want another drink, but your date orders you one anyway.
• The other person tries to kiss you without asking for your consent first, or at least without looking for signs that you want to kiss them too.

Red flags on a date: listen to your gut feeling

If someone likes you and is ready for a stable, committed relationship, you will know that.

10. Confusion about their intentions: One of the biggest red flags in dating is when you feel confused about the other person’s behavior. If you feel the need to analyze every message your date sends and constantly think about what that statement/look/behavior might mean – then this is a clear sign that the other person is not giving you the level of affection and commitment can, which is right for you.

In this case, you should listen to your intuition and instead invest your energy in relationships in which the other person makes it clear that they like you, want to get to know you, and, if necessary, commit to you.

Read more on Techzle.com:

• 5 Love Languages: How to show affection and appreciation
• Fear of commitment: When love and relationships seem threatening
• Flying Monkeys: How to protect yourself from the manipulative henchmen