The iPhone has penetrated all parts of society, including love. From matching on Tinder, FaceTiming to sharing a Netflix subscription together: your phone plays a role. But is this good for romance? This is what experts say about smartphones and your relationship.
iPhone and your relationship
Smartphones can make love blossom, but destroy it just as hard. On the one hand, you can make endless calls to each other and many layer-distance relationships wouldn’t even be possible without phones.
On the other hand, there is probably little more annoying than being with a partner who is guilty of ‘phubbing’. The person is constantly busy with his or her phone, and so does not get much of what you say.
According to a new study published in Psychology of Popular Media Culture, phubbing is one of the most damaging things to a relationship. It does not necessarily matter how much time you or your partner spend on your phone, but how attached you are to your smartphone.
For the study, 170 couples between the ages of 18 and 28 were asked about their smartphone use and its impact on their relationship. People who are more attached to their phone, and are, for example, much active on social media, appear to experience their relationship as less good than couples who live more offline.
Also read: Tip: Reach your loved ones faster by adding Siri relationship labels
‘iPhone demands attention’
The biggest point of irritation are partners who are still working with their smartphone during conversations or intimate moments. This makes the other person feel unheard and less serious. In other words, the ‘addict”s smartphone use makes the other jealous. He or she is looking for the attention that the phone has, but is not getting it.
“Smartphones have caused a revolution,” says lead researcher Matthew Lapierre. It therefore seems that their influence on romantic relationships is enormous. We cannot yet say with certainty that the influence of telephones is bad, but the first results do indicate it. ‘
Another study conducted on the University of Texas, it turns out that smartphones make people suspicious. Women in particular seem to have a hand in keeping an eye on boyfriends on Facebook and Instagram. However, men are no more Catholic than the Pope. They are much more likely to ‘steal’ their partner’s phone to read WhatsApp messages, for example.
Positive
However, smartphones don’t have to be bad for your relationship. So is scientifically proven that spending time together ‘online’ can be good for your relationship, as long as there is a clear goal. Inquiries among 600 couples show that you should mainly use your iPhone to meet up with each other physically, instead of continuing to text them. Making memories together in the ‘real’ world is one of the most important things for a successful relationship.
The same research says you should ban phones when you’re dating. We are used to browsing apps and seeing new things all the time, while it takes time to build a valuable relationship. If you are constantly working with your iPhone, you do not give yourself or the other a chance.
Put your iPhone away
It is therefore important to ban smartphones when you spend time together, scientists say university of chicago. According to them, your iPhone constantly demands attention, which gives you the idea that you always have to share your partner.
“When one partner spends a lot of time on his or her phone, it reduces intimacy in the relationship,” said lead researcher Susan Weinschenk. “For the other person, it feels like you don’t wake up together in the morning, but with 50 others who are all screaming for attention.”
By not immediately giving in to the urge to check your email, Facebook and Instagram in the morning, you actually strengthen the bond with your partner. “When an avid smartphone user puts away his or her device and pays full attention to you, you feel very special as a loved one,” Weinschenk concludes.
In conclusion, it is important to put your iPhone away together at times. It is an aid and can be very useful to meet up, but not a substitute for real contact.
February iPhone Month Theme: Relationships
Throughout February we zoom in on relationships on iPhoned. From practical tips, the best dating apps to sharing cloud subscriptions: everything will pass. Do you have topics that we really can’t miss? Then let us know in a comment below this article, or send an email to redactie@iphoned.nl.
- Sharing a cloud subscription together: these are the pros and cons (10-2-2020)
- Practical apps for couples: from arranging money matters to planning dates (2/6/2020)
- This is how the technology behind Tinder works, and that is how you increase your chances (2/3/2020)
- Tip: Reach your loved ones faster by adding Siri relationship labels (20-2-2019)
- The 6 best apps especially for the LGBTQ + community (2/19/2019)