If someone around you suffers from low self-esteem, you should not dismiss their feeling, but rather proceed with caution. An expert gives tips.
Are there people in family, friends or colleagues – people who have low self-esteem – colloquially: an inferiority complex – and struggle with the fact that they are supposedly not as good as others? But how do you deal with it as an outsider?
Not an easy situation. In general: “The closer the person is to me, the more I can gently talk to them about my impressions of them,” says Gregor Müller, psychological psychotherapist in Bochum.
Low self-esteem: Help to focus on the positive
The conversation should be face-to-face and at eye level. The outside person should not “talk away” the other person’s feeling of inferiority. On the other hand, it is better to focus on positive things and praise something like: “I think you’re doing a great job!”
Important for the appreciation to be effective: explain why the other person does something well. Because convincing arguments in particular could help to increase the self-esteem of the other person.
This is how parents can help their children
Parents whose children have low self-confidence can also actively support their offspring. Michaela Goecke from the Federal Center for Health Education (BZgA) emphasizes to Welt how important it is to show trust in the child and support.
You should also set an example of how to successfully deal with stress while maintaining your own boundaries and getting support if necessary. According to her, parents also serve as role models in conflict resolution, but should not intervene without being asked and should give the child the opportunity to find solutions themselves.
Here you can find more tips about self-confidence and self-efficacy:
- Strengthen self-confidence: 5 tips for more self-confidence
- Positive affirmations: How to help yourself gain motivation and self-confidence
- Self-efficacy: This is how you promote and strengthen it
Note: This article was first published in 2025 and has since been updated.
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