Interlocutor: does not stop talking? 6 tips what you can do

talk alot
Photo: CC0 / Pixabay / StockSnap

Some people hardly let others have a say in conversations, making equal communication almost impossible. You can find out here which strategies help to deal with it.

Maybe you’ve already talked to a person who actually only talked about themselves the whole time and kept interrupting you, or to whom you didn’t even get the opportunity to say something back.

When you’re the other person, you might feel like you can’t do much more than nod and smile politely and let the monologue linger on. However, there are strategies you can use to break up the one-sided conversation – without having to be rude.

reasons for the flow of speech

The fact that people talk a lot can have different reasons. For example, people with lower self-esteem and a consequent higher need for attention tend to talk excessively. In this case, a flow of words can also help to cover up insecurities.

Increased activity in the brain can also play a role. For example, overstimulation of the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for processing and producing language, can lead to people being more impulsive in conversation and speaking more often and for longer.

A particularly intense form of compulsion to speak is also referred to in medicine as logorrhea. Constantly speaking up and talking excessively becomes a compulsion for those affected. The phenomenon usually occurs as a side effect of mental or neurological diseases. The consumption of alcohol, other drugs or caffeine can also promote the urge to talk.

When people talk too much: That helps

Certain strategies can help to purposefully interrupt a person's flow of speech.
Certain strategies can help to purposefully interrupt a person’s flow of speech.
(Photo: CC0 / Pixabay / StockSnap)

When people keep bringing up the conversation, it can quickly become awkward to be together. In this case, the following strategies can help you break up the situation and allow yourself or other participants in the conversation to have more of a conversation:

  • Back to topic: Most of us react primarily to the topic of a conversation, can identify it and react to it. So we only share our own experiences briefly or in relation to the interests of the group. However, people who talk a lot about themselves do not focus on the topic itself, but only on how they themselves feel about this topic. For example, if a person says they have just returned from London, some people use this opportunity to tell at length about their own trips to London. In such cases, it is often efficient to wait for a pause in speaking and bring the conversation back to the person who first raised the issue.

  • Small group sizes: Group size can greatly affect engagement in the conversation. Groups of more than six people tend not to let some people speak, or only very briefly. A division into several smaller discussions with two, three or four people promotes equal participation.

  • Reduce redundancy: Some people not only talk about a certain topic for far too long, but also repeat themselves over time over time. If this is the case, you can tell the other person in the conversation what you already know about the topic or what the person has already said. From this point, you’ve given yourself the opportunity to share your own thoughts and experiences on the subject.

  • Changing the conversational position: One possible cause of excessive talking is that people see themselves as superior. When people talk about themselves, they ultimately perceive themselves as experts. Therefore, frequent speakers like to keep the focus on their activities and experiences and thus preserve their expertise. You can break this up by specifically directing the focus of the conversation to another topic in which you or other participants in the conversation have more experience.

  • Changing your own behavior: Sometimes we unconsciously encourage people who talk a lot to continue dominating the conversation, for example by continuing to nod politely and smile. But signs of impatience (e.g. constantly checking the smartphone) can also encourage people to just keep talking. Constant interruptions, on the other hand, can lead to competition and uncomfortable interpersonal tensions. You can try to keep your facial expression as neutral as possible, not to say anything and not to use any gestures or facial expressions. Frequent speakers lack the necessary counterpart in the conversation.

  • Speak directly: With the right tone, it is by no means reprehensible to address the person about their excessive talking. However, the focus should be on how it affects us personally, rather than criticizing the person or even embarrassing them in a group. For example, we can ask, “Can we take turns talking?” or “I wish we could all have a say!”


  • Four-ears model: communication square for more understanding conversations
  • Active listening: techniques and methods
  • Constructive criticism: the right way to express it

Recent Articles

Related Stories