Overtouched syndrome: When touching becomes too much

Overtouched syndrome often affects young parents who experience a lot of physical contact with their newborn children every day. Here you can find out how the phenomenon manifests itself and what helps in dealing with it.

After the birth of a child, many parents experience an abrupt increase in physical contact – for example, when comforting, rocking to sleep or everyday cuddling. For some parents, this strong physical contact can be overwhelming and lead to them no longer wanting to be touched by others. They then feel “overtouched”.

Breastfeeding mothers in particular, who have intensive physical contact with their child every day through breastfeeding, are affected by the so-called overtouched syndrome.

Overtouched syndrome: too much touch

According to Apotheken-Umschau, overtouched syndrome is a relatively new term. There is also no scientific classification to date. The concept is currently based exclusively on individual reports of experience. However, these indicate that many parents are affected by overtouched syndrome in different ways.

For example, Prof. Dr. Christine Rummel-Kluge, senior physician at the University Hospital Leipzig, explained to Apotheken-Umschau that she often has to deal with parents who show signs of overtouched syndrome. However, it is important to her not to view the syndrome as an illness or disorder. Instead, she says it is a normal experience that many mothers, but also some fathers, go through.

Influencer and mother Jana Hartmann explains in a post how the overtouched syndrome feels for her:

https://www.instagram.com/jana.familyfirst/reel/C08lJHasEyM/

She explains that she enjoys being so close to her children. However, once the children are in bed, she doesn’t want any more contact. If her husband is disappointed by her rejection, further pressure builds up. After she has spent the whole day trying to meet her children’s needs, her husband’s needs are now added to the mix.

This strong pressure to constantly be physically close to other people can be a huge burden and, according to Psychology Today, primarily affects females and people who are perceived as female. This also explains why mothers are primarily affected by overtouched syndrome.

Overtouched syndrome as a taboo topic

In our society, it is still difficult for mothers in particular to talk about the fact that they are overwhelmed by the closeness to their child or sometimes cannot bear any further contact. According to Rummel-Kluge, this is mainly due to entrenched gender roles.

For example, people who are perceived as female are often expected to have natural, maternal instincts and to take unconditional care of their children. In addition, the media reproduces the image of the “perfect mother” who is always patient, loving and willing to make sacrifices, thereby increasing the pressure on mothers to behave accordingly.

These idealized ideas often have little to do with reality. Rummel-Kluge explains that physical autonomy is a basic human need. If there is suddenly a being in need of protection that is so physically dependent on us, it is completely normal to feel “overtouched” at the end of the day.

Overtouched? These tips can help you

Are you also affected by overtouched syndrome and don’t know how to deal with it? Then, according to Psychology Today, the following tips can help you:

• Understanding and accepting: First of all, it is important that you understand where your rejection of any kind of touch comes from and classify it accordingly. It often helps if you know that this is an experience that many parents go through and that it is simply a natural reaction to your current everyday life.

• Ask for help: Don’t be afraid to ask family members or friends to support you from time to time. The time your child spends with other people can be used for some me-time.

• Questioning beliefs: Young parents, and mothers in particular, often develop strong feelings of guilt when they feel “overtouched” and would like to have more time for themselves. This is mainly due to beliefs about motherhood and parenthood that we have internalized. Therefore, it can be helpful to replace these beliefs with others, such as: “I have a duty to take care of myself. As a relaxed person who also respects her own needs, I can also be there more for my child.”

• Communication: If you are in a relationship and feel that overtouched syndrome is having a negative impact on your relationship, you should first communicate your feelings and needs openly. Above all, make it clear to your partner that your rejection of touch is not a sign of a lack of love – but simply a sign of too much physical contact.

• Seek professional help: Therapy or psychological counseling can also be useful to help you better deal with overtouched syndrome.

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