What makes good friendships? Can online contacts be as valuable as friends: inside from real life? And how many close friendships do you need? Expert: Answer inside.
Everyone needs them. Some of them are enough for a single close friend or a real friend, others want to have as many friends: have inside as possible. “We humans are social beings and need friendships for our well -being,” says emotion researcher Katrin Döveling from the Darmstadt University of Applied Sciences. And that applies to all people in the world and for all age groups from child to senior, she emphasizes the international day of friendship (July 30).
What makes friendship?
“Points of friendship are trust and reliability,” says Döveling. In an always changing world with uncertainties and challenges, a friend, a friend, could be a safe contact point, an anchor and resting pole. Honesty is essential. Freund: Inside can support emotionally and keep a mirror, even if it pain. “Honesty, in the protected framework of friendship, can help to grow and learn from mistakes,” says Döveling.
“Man cannot be happy if he has no good, trustworthy and resilient relationships,” adds friendship sociologist Janosch Schobin from the University of Göttingen. Friendships contribute directly to health, as he explains. Very rarely there are people with a low need for social need who would come up almost without contact.
Are friendships in real life and comparable on the Internet?
“Real friendships in real life usually started without social media, have emerged in the daycare center, school, school, training or at work and grown over time,” explains media scientist Jeannine Teichert from the University of Paderborn. Social media has many offers ready to get to know people, “however,” whether real friendships are created is another question. If you only use these contacts, you won’t have that much of it. “
People who got to know each other through social media and met later, which is not so rare, often have to get to know each other again. “And sometimes it works that online friendship transforms into a real offline friendship,” reports the Paderborn researcher.
Under certain circumstances, you could even reach a deep friendship level with an exchange on a pure online basis. “If you invest a lot of time, resistance and trust, real friendships can also arise online, even if you may have other forms than an offline friendship.”
“A good friend is more important than a hundred internet known”
The researcher Döveling sees a little different: on the Internet, it is more about acquaintances than friendships. “We need good networks on the Internet, but the relationships that are cultivated there cannot reach the depth of real friendships.” Knowns on the Internet fulfilled different functions than friends: inside. “A good friend or a good friend is more important than a hundred good acquaintances on the Internet.”
Friendship includes that you sometimes hug in your arms. “Man is dependent on physical closeness, even babies need that,” says Döveling. The Internet couldn’t offer that. Also interesting: “In the case of real interaction, the body releases binding hormones such as oxytocin and endorphins that have an impact effect.” This does not happen to this extent in the event of an exchange on the Internet.
Why is the way through social media at all?
Some people are unsure, online contacts were easier for them, observes media expert Teichert. These are more non -binding to end even more subtle – simply by staying offline. In addition: “With virtual contacts, it is possible to filter, to pretend, hide, pretend that you are completely different.” Many changes of location or a life in major cities of anonymous cities could make contacts in the real environment difficult.
How many friendships can a person have?
The more friendships, the better? At student Benedikt from Bielefeld, there are ten plus 220: “I have ten close friends, although I define the term quite strictly. These are people who mean a lot to me with whom I am one to one and excavation.” The 23-year-old has a good 220 contacts on Instagram and Co. “These are friends in the broader meaning or rather good acquaintances with whom I am on the same wavelength or that I still know from school, but about half of which is not so important to me.”
That fits quite well with the study situation: Investigations showed that a person could have around 150 good relationships, but including much less really close friendships, sometimes only a handful, explains Jeannine Teichert. Depending on the respective person, up to several thousand other loose contacts are also possible.
The longer, the more valuable
Social needs change in the course of life and thus also the functions of friendships: “New friends are added in different phases of life, the new friendships are adapted to the latest needs,” says sociologist Schobin. Many close ties survived several phases of life. “The longer friendships keep, the more valuable they are assessed.”
Missing friendships and ties make lonely
According to the World Health Organization, around every sixth person worldwide is affected by loneliness, and many in Germany are also increasing. Among other things, loneliness is related to the “performance -oriented competitive company”. “It can be like a suction in which you are pulled in: we bring performance, you are poetle all day and then notice in the evening that you are pretty alone.”
Schobin, who is also a loneliness researcher, sees it more positively. A central resource for friendships is time and in this country you take a comparatively large amount of time for social relationships. He considers society to be well positioned in friendships. “We see enormous stability here. The average number of close friends is very constant.”
However, not all friendships are to be assessed positively. There are also “friendships” in which one person exploits or manipulated the other. You can find out exactly how you recognize such toxic relationships in the following article:
Read more on utopia.de:
- Friendships in the job: Are you an advantage or a risk?
- Friendship: “I pay you that” can be the beginning of the end
- End friendship: This is how you stay fair
** marked with ** or orange underlined Links to sources of supply are partially partner links: If you buy here, you will actively support Techzle\.com, because we will then receive a small part of the sales proceeds. More information.