Every week an article appears somewhere about a man or woman who went into business with the wrong “love”. Someone looked so much like Tinder or Plenty of Fish, but turns out to be after only one thing: money. If someone is being scammed with romantic or sexual intercourse, this is called dating fraud. This is how it works and, in particular, how you prevent it.
Although dating apps like Tinder and Happn can make our lives considerably more enjoyable, it also happens regularly that the match does not turn out to be a true Jacob (a). Often the contact is initially very nice and intensive. That person seems to show a lot of himself, and all with the intention of making you fall in love. This conviviality and romance changes at some point when the match demands money. His car is broken, she cannot pay her electricity bill, a family member is seriously ill: the most logical and / or emotional problems come along and because you feel a bond you decide to transfer some money. Money that you will never see again. As long as you continue to send money or at least give the idea that you want to do this, the contact is very nice. But as soon as you ask too many questions, the person becomes cold or even angry. Of course in the hope of responding to your guilt and being able to get that money. However, if your fake love thinks you have him or her in the chains, it will be freezing silently.
Catfishing
Dating fraud is often related to catfishing. With catfishing, someone poses as someone else, by using the photos of the other person. Tip: you can check someone’s photos by clicking the camera in Google Images. This contains a function that looks at where the photo can be seen even more and that can give you interesting insights about other profiles, usernames, and so on. You can also recognize a catfish by various behaviors: he or she never wants to make video calls (ie Facetime, Skype and WhatsApp video chat) and also meeting seems to be difficult. If it is a scammer, he probably wants to get to the point quickly, so a close relationship is built up in a short time. Moreover, the person may also do his research and have exactly the same hobbies as you. In some cases, the offender does not want you to tell others about your relationship.
In addition to the tips above to recognize a scammer, the best advice is to consult yourself. Does it feel like something is not quite right? For example, does it seem too good to be true? Or is the person only very present at certain times and does he or she sometimes just disappear? If you already have a strange feeling about it, then it often comes out that this premonition is true. Of course it is certainly not always the case, but often it is also about people who do not speak Dutch or who do not live in the Netherlands at all. According to the Fraud Help Desk, dating fraud is more often committed by Nigerians, Ghanaians and Eastern Europeans. So pay attention to language: if someone makes a lot of language mistakes or simply taps poorly Dutch or English, this can also indicate a scammer. It is often asked to transfer money via, for example, Western Union and Moneygram, where it is much less easy to check where exactly the money is going.
Fraud Help Desk
In 2018, more than 400 reports were received from the Fraud Help Desk (https://www.fraudehelpdesk.nl/fraude/datingfraude/) about dating fraud with an average financial loss of 17,500 euros. In addition, there is the psychological damage: victims often find it difficult to trust people if they are in this situation. Every day there is at least one victim who reports dating fraud. It’s probably just the tip of the iceberg. Hundreds of people are financially duped by their internet sweetheart. Some people work for themselves in debt, or have to write a nice trip or new car on their stomach because they will never see the money transferred again. According to Fraudehelpdesk, more than 3.5 million euros were seized from 237 victims in 2019. These are often highly educated women. If it happens to you, then you are certainly not alone.
Has it come that far? Dating fraud is a form of scam. If it happens to you, always report this to the police and inform the dating site. In addition, it is advisable to block the number and social media accounts, but make sure you keep conversations between you. Keep in mind that you will never see the money that you have transferred again. Offenders are often abroad and that makes it harder to track them down. If your perpetrator lives in the Netherlands, you do have a chance of receiving compensation. To do this, go to the Slachtofferhulp website. Finally, despite best shame, the best advice is to talk about it with people, because it can be a hugely gripping situation in which you can use support.
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