Your counterpart talks too much: so you politely stop the flow of speech

Your counterpart talks too much: so you politely stop the flow of speech
Photo: CC0 / Pixabay / Icsilviu

Some people hardly let others have their say in conversations and thus make equal communication almost impossible. You can find out which strategies help in dealing with it here.

Perhaps you have already talked to a person who actually tells of yourself all the time and has repeatedly interrupted you. You may not have the opportunity to return something.

As a counterpart, you may then have the feeling that you couldn’t do much more than to nod and smile and to endure the monologue over you. However, there are definitely strategies that you can use to break up the one -sided conversation situation – even without having to become rude.

Reasons for the flow of speech

Different causes can have that people talk a lot. For example, people with less self -esteem and a resulting higher need for attention have the tendency to speak excessively. In this case, a flow of speech can also help to cover uncertainties.

Increased activity in the brain can also play a role. If, for example, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for language processing and production, is excessively stimulated, this can lead to people in conversation more impulsive behavior and more often and longer.

A particularly intensive form of compulsion to speak is also referred to in medicine as a logorrhea. To speak constantly and talk excessively a lot becomes a compulsion for those affected. The phenomenon usually occurs as a side effect of mental or neurological diseases. The consumption of alcohol, other drugs or caffeine can also promote the compulsory compulsion.

When people talk too much: that helps

Certain strategies can help to specifically interrupt a person's flow of speech.
Certain strategies can help to specifically interrupt a person’s flow of speech. (Photo: CC0 / Pixabay / Stocksnap)

When people keep the conversation on themselves, it can quickly become unpleasant. In this case, the following strategies can help you to break up the situation and give yourself or other participants in conversation: to enable more proportion of conversation inside:

1. Back to the topic

Most of us react primarily to the topic of a conversation, can identify and react to it. We then only share our own experiences briefly or to the interests of the group.

However, people who tell a lot about themselves do not focus on the topic itself, but only on how they stand on this topic themselves. For example, a person tells that she has just returned from London, some people take this opportunity to tell about her own London trips in detail. In such cases, it is often efficient to wait for a break from speech and to bring the focus back to the person who had addressed the topic first.

2. Small group size

The group size can strongly influence participation in the conversation. Groups of more than six people tend to not have some people or only let their say very briefly. A division into several smaller conversations with two, three or four people promotes equal participation.

3. Reduce redundancy

Some people not only tell of a specific topic for far too long, but also repeat themselves over time. If this is the case, you can tell the other person’s conversation what you already know about the topic or what the person has already told. From this point you have gained the opportunity to share your own thoughts and experiences on the topic.

4. Change the discussion position

One possible cause of excessive speech is that people consider themselves superior. When people talk about themselves, they finally perceive themselves as an expert: inside. That is why a lot of speakers keep: inside the focus on their activities and experiences and thus preserve the expertise. You can break up this by specifically on the focus in conversation on another topic in which you have more experience yourself or other participants in conversation.

5. Change your own behavior

Sometimes we encourage multi -speakers: Inside, also unconsciously dominate the conversation, for example by still politely nod and smile. But also signs of impatience (for example the constant checking of the smartphone) can persuade people to simply continue talking. Constant interruptions, on the other hand, can lead to a competition and unpleasant interpersonal tensions.

You can try to maintain a facial expression that is as neutral as possible, not to say anything and not to apply gestures or facial expressions. So much speaker is missing: the necessary counterpart in the conversation.

6. Address directly

With the right tone, it is by no means reprehensible to address the person to their excessive talk. However, the focus should be on how it affects us personally instead of criticizing the person or even embarrassing in a group. For example, we can ask: “Can we alternate in conversation?” or “I would like us to have all the opportunity to speak!”

Read more on utopia.de:

  • Four-ear model: Communication square for more understanding conversations
  • Active listening: techniques and methods
  • Constructive criticism: So you express them correctly

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