Asking for help: Why it’s hard and 3 tips on how to do it

Everyone reaches their limits at some point. But asking for help is not that easy. In this article we will tell you why this is the case and how you can succeed in asking your fellow human beings for help.

Whether lovesickness, a pile of unfinished work or conflicts that cause you headaches – situations that you are probably familiar with. But although support would probably help, do you prefer to fend for yourself? You are not alone in this. Many people like to help, but at the same time many find it difficult to accept help.

Why is it so difficult for us to ask for help?

But why is it that we are so reluctant to ask for help? The reasons for this can be manifold. Here some examples:

• self-confidence suffers
• the fear of appearing weak or being judged negatively
• Fear of rejection
• not wanting to be a burden
• feeling indebted to someone else

Reasons to ask for help

Fears about asking for help do not always correspond to reality. Confronting your fears can make your life easier in many ways. Here are a few points to get help:

• Strengthen social relationships: Relationships are elementary for us humans. So it’s not our nature to do everything alone. In addition, we develop helpful behavior from an early age and if you help others, you can strengthen your well-being at the same time.
• Showing weakness is powerful: other people can even find it sympathetic when they realize that you aren’t perfect either.
• Relief: Of course it is a great support if someone helps you with your work or if you can talk to a good friend about your lovesickness. So you can save time and energy if you dare to ask for help.

How do you know you need help?

There are a few symptoms that may indicate that you would benefit from help:

• Your mood: If you find yourself frequently feeling sad and low, losing interest in things you usually enjoy, or generally feeling incapable, worthless, and overwhelmed, confiding in someone can help.
• Traumatic experience: If you have experienced something traumatic and are now struggling with anxiety, nightmares, general restlessness or similar consequences, it is advisable to seek professional help.
• Addiction: If you use alcohol, medication or other drugs more often, therapy can help.
• Physical Symptoms: If you are suffering from unexplained symptoms or pain, you should seek expert advice.

Especially in the case of traumatic experiences or addiction problems, there are facilities that can provide you with professional support. As a first step, you can also contact a telephone counseling service.

How do you know who to ask for help?

If you get help, that’s strong. Because it gives you confidence and gives you the support you need now. The best way to ask for help will depend on the situation and the problem you need help with.

For example, you can initiate your most trusted friends, work colleagues or family members. In particularly stressful situations, going to a therapist is advisable.

How to ask for help

While it seems logical that help can do you good, pride or fear can stand in your way. So keep reminding yourself that asking for help is not a weakness. So if you take a more positive perspective on the topic, it can make the process a little easier for you. The more often you overcome yourself, the easier it usually becomes.

With these 3 methods you can ask for help

1. Ask as specifically as possible: When people help you, they usually want to do it as well as possible. It is therefore advantageous for both sides if your request is clearly formulated and help can be provided effectively.
2. Don’t apologize: people often even enjoy being able to help. But only if it makes you feel better and doesn’t make you feel worse. So take the perspective that you are now giving the helper the opportunity to make a valuable contribution.
3. Ask in person: If you ask via text or email, the emotional and personal connection can be lost. If you ask in person, on the other hand, you create a deeper level. Another option could also be a letter if that feels easier for you. See also: Writing a personal letter: Reasons and 16 creative ideas for it.

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