Sometimes there are times when everything seems to go wrong and nothing works. It is difficult not to push a frustration and instead keep a positive attitude. But there are methods that help you.
Frustration is part of life. Be it at school, at work, in interpersonal relationships or when it comes to achieving personal goals – everyone has experienced the feeling of disappointed expectations. The fact that something just doesn’t want to succeed even when trying and you have the impression of reaching your limits often creates frustration. This feeling can ensure that we get involved in a circulation of negative emotions and make the situation worse.
But the good news is: you can learn to deal with your frustration properly. In the following we not only explain how frustration arises and what consequences it can have, but also present you ways of how you can react better in frustrating situations – so that your frustration does not paralyze you, but even get advances.
This is how frustration arises
Frustration is something very subjective. According to the lexicon of psychology, it is an emotional state that occurs when something is not hoped for or is planned. You have a certain expectation of how something should run and this expectation is disappointed. Then frustration occurs. It is not uncommon for this state to bring emotions such as grief, anger, anger or disappointment.
Frustration is very subjective: a situation that may be frustrating for a person can feel another person very differently. Perhaps she is upset that not everything went as hoped, but nothing more. Anyone else may even put the disappointment away with a shrug. Frustration depends very much on the expectations we had in a certain situation.
The reasons that create frustration are very diverse. Sometimes you can’t do something because you suffer from the lack of drive or you lack the motivation, sometimes you are just under stress. Then other people are responsible for the frustrating experience or you are annoyed by yourself because you do not behave as you want, but instead fall back into old patterns. Lovement can also make you susceptible to frustration. Too much perfectionism can also lead to frustration.
How much frustration is normal and when does frustration have negative consequences?
Which is probably not very helpful in the acute situation, but still true: everyone has a bad day. A plate breaks at breakfast, the bike has a slab and at work there is trouble with a colleague.
When the next day is there, the sun shines again and the frustration is snow from yesterday. Frustration becomes a problem when he becomes your constant companion. Persistent frustration has a demotivating effect or ensures tension. In the worst case, frustration leads to depression or burnout, according to occupational physician Ralf Wegener compared to the time.
Negative consequences that frustration can bring with it are:
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“Frust eat”: Many people typically tend to eat too much or too much unhealthy if they are frustrated.
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Alcohol and cigarettes: Sugitants are also a popular means of dealing with frustration.
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“Frust shop”: Have you ever bought completely superfluous things or spent too much money because you wanted to dismantle your frustration?
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Too much work: others rush into their work even more evenly when things are not going in other areas of life as they hope for.
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Brooding: Or your thoughts drive carousel – again and again you roll back and forth in your head.
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Aggressive behavior: It is not uncommon for us to leave our frustration to ourselves or others. This behavior describes frustration aggression theory in psychology.
Most of the time, this behavior only helps us to feel better. After that, however, we feel even worse. Therefore, we want to show you some options for how you can handle your frustration in a healthy way.
Frustration tolerance – from dealing with frustration
The natural ability to deal with frustration is called frustration tolerance. Anyone who has a low frustration tolerance is quickly frustrated and suffer from failures or disappointed expectations.
The result of a low frustration tolerance is that we give up faster or are taken by negative feelings. People with a high frustration tolerance, on the other hand, are rather patient, rather accept setbacks and also appreciate small progress on the way to a larger goal.
The good news: frustration tolerance can be learned and you can therefore train them.
Certain guidelines and settings such as:
- “I can cope with something that doesn’t go as I imagine. It is not the end of the world”
- “If I try, I will come forward and be successful. I just need patience.”
The first sentence shows that you accept the situation as it is. In the second you recognize your self -efficacy. Both are signs that you have a strong mental resistance, i.e. high resilience. Because resilience and frustration tolerance are closely related, resilience goes a little further than the ability to handle frustration well.
What helps to avoid frustration?
Of course, you can also try not to let the frustration arise and avoid it instead. It can help to look at and analyze a frustrating situation if you have overcome it by far:
- What led to frustration? How did it come about? Is there anything that you could have done differently in order not to give a frustration?
- How did you react to the situation? Would you have also been more relaxed, less serious or humorous? Did I dramatize the situation unnecessarily?
Frustration is often a matter of attitude. For example, if you adapt your expectations a bit or with a more positive attitude to a situation, the chance that you will be frustrated afterwards is a lot lower.
What helps use frustration?
But sometimes it just doesn’t miss it and the frustration is back in the house. Only he doesn’t have to stay there: In addition to Mantras, who you can regularly audition to train your acceptance and self -efficacy, there are other ways to train your frustration tolerance and to reduce your frustration in a healthy way.
1. Talk to the frustration of the soul
Sometimes you just have to accept your frustration and search for a valve for them. To eat them further into you can quickly become unhealthy. Instead, find an attentive person who listens to you and who you can tell about your frustration. If you talk about your feelings and the frustrating situation, this can help you to gain distance.
2. Write frustration from the soul
There is nobody there who can listen to you or you don’t want to share your thoughts and feelings? Then it may help you write about it instead.
3. Movement!
Are you frustrated and upset? Then go out, take a walk, ride a round bike or do the sport that you are looking for. So you get rid of the negative energy that the frustration produces and get your head free.
4. Reward and pamper
Try to relax with a piece of chocolate, a nice song or something similar. That takes the stress and makes you more densely tolerant. And don’t forget to reward yourself again and again for small successes. So you stay motivated and resistant to frustration.
5. Pole the frustration around
Are you dissatisfied with a situation? Then use this frustration and change something. Frustration can also be the drive and intrinsic motivation to do something and tackle something.
6. Intermediate destinations and small steps
We often frustrate because we have set ourselves much too big, far too high goals. It is therefore important to also set and recognize partial successes and intermediate goals. Do not speak the achievements that you have provided on the way to a goal, but recognize them and also celebrate them a bit.
7. Distraction
Sometimes it is simply the most sensible to forget the frustration for a while and distract yourself, preferably in an area in which you may have had little success. If your thoughts return to the frustration, it will have moved a little further into the distance.
8. Accept and believe in themselves
The most important rule for dealing with frustration is: some things cannot be changed – so we have to accept it. Mindfulness and meditation can also help. And with other things we can believe that we can make it and trust ourselves.
Revised by Jennifer Watzek
Read more on utopia.de:
- Think positively: how you learn and get negative thoughts
- Strengthen self -confidence: 5 tips for more self -confidence
- Stop brooding: How to interrupt your thoughts
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