Experiences from childhood can make life difficult for us even in adulthood. This is where the concept of inner child healing comes in: There are various podcasts, meditations and books on the subject that are very popular. But are these guides useful?
Whether happy and carefree, difficult or even traumatic: what we experience as children shapes us. This is something that is particularly well known to people whose childhood experiences make life difficult as adults.
This is where a concept comes in that we now encounter in self-help books, coaching sessions and podcasts – healing the inner child. The basic idea is: from the position of the adult, we should subsequently give our inner child comfort, security or recognition in order to solve existing problems. Can this work?
The term “inner child” does not appear in treatment guidelines
First, the term “inner child”: There is no uniform definition of what this is, as Prof. Wolfgang Lutz says. “It is a pictorial representation of the idea that childhood experiences become part of the personality and influence actions in the present,” explains the head of the Department of Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy at the University of Trier.
Lutz has been researching the effectiveness of psychotherapy methods for around 30 years. And he co-edited the standard work on the subject, the “Bergin and Garfield’s Handbook of Psychotherapy and Behavior Change”. The term “inner child” does not appear in it. This means that there are no treatment guidelines based on research findings and containing recommendations from experts on how the inner child can be healed.
Finding access to feelings
But of course childhood plays a role in many forms of psychotherapy, for example cognitive behavioral therapy.
But psychotherapy works with this in a more differentiated way, as Lutz explains. It is not about healing the inner child. It is about, for example, first recognizing behavioral, thought, emotional or relationship patterns that one acquired as a child and then learning alternative courses of action.
However, ideas or metaphors such as the inner child can make it easier to access yourself and your feelings, as Lutz emphasizes. “It can help you personally, and many people can benefit from self-help literature.”
Understand yourself better
Christa Roth-Sackenheim sees it that way too. She is chairwoman of the Professional Association of German Psychiatrists and has a practice for psychiatry, psychotherapy and neurology in Andernach.
The concept of the inner child can therefore help people to find out why they always react inappropriately in certain situations. For example, why they get angry at their child when they are being silly. Or why they always adapt in relationships and have immensely high expectations of themselves.
All of this can have its origins in one’s own childhood. Recognizing the reasons for their behavior can be a relief for many people. “They no longer think: ‘I react like this because I’m a bad person,’ but because I’ve had certain experiences,” says Christa Roth-Sackenheim. That can make them more mature and help them to come to terms with themselves.
When is professional help needed?
But working with your inner child on your own has its limits. Anyone who suffers from depression, panic or anxiety disorders, for example, needs professional help, stresses Wolfgang Lutz.
Of course, you don’t necessarily know whether such a diagnosis applies to you. That’s why Lutz gives some examples of people for whom guides or podcasts are not enough:
- when you lack the motivation to get up in the morning
- with suicidal thoughts
- in the case of deeper fears (e.g. if you are so afraid of a presentation that you change the seminar or even the university instead of giving the presentation)
Attending a consultation with a psychotherapist can help clarify whether outpatient psychotherapy is necessary.
Inner child work can be upsetting
And if you are already dealing with your inner child and are sad for weeks and can’t think of anything else? Then you should also seek professional help, advises Christa Roth-Sackenheim. The same applies if you are unable to work, if traumatic experiences are brought to light or if memories flood you uncontrollably.
“It is not unusual for the topics one encounters to temporarily make one sad and thoughtful and to take up a lot of space,” says Christa Roth-Sackenheim.
Limits of going it alone
There is another point where trying to heal your inner child on your own has its limits: in terms of implementation. The old saying “knowledge is the first step towards improvement” is true here too. But knowledge does not necessarily mean that it alone will be possible to change your own behavior.
“Recognizing connections is only the first step,” says Wolfgang Lutz. “But when patterns are deeply ingrained, recognition is not enough to change behavior. Therapy is then needed to work on exactly that.”
However, Christa Roth-Sackenheim knows that some people manage to behave more consciously in the next critical situation and perhaps even differently over time. It is actually always helpful to talk to friends or relatives. “This may lead to other possibilities for dealing with the problematic situations.”
Note: Anyone who feels psychologically stressed can find help from the telephone counseling service: On the telephone number: 0800/1110111 or 0800/1110222. Alternatively, there is a chat service at: online.telefonseelsorge.de
Read more on Techzle\.com:
- Midlife crisis: causes and solutions without consumerism
- Fear of commitment: When love and relationships seem threatening
- Psychologist on too much smartphone time: “Fomo” and why digital detox is of little use
** marked with ** or orange underlined Links to sources are partly affiliate links: If you buy here, you are actively supporting Techzle\.com, because we then receive a small part of the sales proceeds. .