“It is human to make mistakes” – as the saying goes. But it is often difficult to deal with one’s own mistakes. We have some ideas for you on how you can do this.
Making mistakes: that’s why it’s so uncomfortable
One wrong word to a friend or at work means something went wrong – making a mistake is quick. But for some it is more difficult than for others to deal with it. Why?
There can be various reasons – here are a few examples:
- Often times we are afraid of making mistakes weak let it work. And many are not used to showing themselves to be vulnerable to others.
- If a mistake is accompanied by criticism or an argument, it can lead to ourselves locked out feel.
- Also perfectionism or low self-esteem can be reasons that we get carried away when we make mistakes.
Learning to make mistakes: that’s why it’s important
The fear of making a mistake can hold us back. It intimidates us so that we no longer act proactively and may appear less brave. Mistakes are part of a healthy learning process:
As the SZ reports we learn best when we also make mistakes. 85 percent of the tasks have to be easy to solve and 15 percent difficult to solve for a pleasant learning process to result.
This can also be applied to our everyday life: Making mistakes helps us, us to develop further – also in the job or on an interpersonal level.
- For example, if you unconsciously make the same mistake in your bills over and over again at work, it is important that your boss points this out to you. So you can learn from it and in the future pay close attention to the fact that you no longer make the mistake.
In theory it sounds very simple. However, many find it difficult to cope with misunderstandings or wrong decisions. We’ll show you how to learn to deal with mistakes.
Making mistakes: this is how you deal with it
When you make a mistake it is important distance to win the situation. You can do this by distracting yourself with breathing exercises, for example. In the next step you can think about the “worst case” and classify the error in relation to your life:
1. Pay attention to your breathing
If you made a mistake and are aware of it, it can cause emotional and physical symptoms. You may get a headache, stomach ache, a lump in your throat, or feel limp. To calm yourself down and gain some distance, watch your breathing: breathe in for four seconds and then exhale for twice as long. Repeat this several times until you are completely with yourself.
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2. Now imagine the disaster scenario in order to de-dramatize the error.
For example, if your account is not sufficiently remembered at the beginning of the month when the rent is about to go away, you can consider the worst-case scenario and its consequences. What could happen in the worst case? Perhaps the landlady will call the next day and ask when the money will come. She could possibly kick you out the door. And: If you move one day, it could tell your new landlord that you are not reliably paying the rent.
Once you’ve pictured the worst scenario, you should be the situation de-dramatize. This is very important! You should keep in mind that the “worst case” is very unlikely. Your landlady is unlikely to be in touch because she doesn’t check her account right away. And she probably won’t drop you out right away if the money isn’t there right away. In addition, you could borrow money from a friend if necessary. This is the first step in putting your mistake into perspective.
3. Relate your mistake.
Often times we focus so much on the one mistakethat we have made that we don’t think about anything else. We make an elephant out of a mosquito. It’s hard to break out of this thinking right away. But in relation seen, our mistakes are only a small part of our lives.
- If, for example, you did not water your parents’ plants properly on vacation, so that they died within three weeks, this is of course annoying. You feel guilty because you know your mother cares a lot about her plants. But in relative terms, this mistake doesn’t even make up a fraction of your life: You have succeeded in many things in the past, you are succeeding in the moment, and you will succeed in the future – whether at work, with your friends or in family.
Making mistakes: this is how you learn from them
After a few hours or days, you will usually get away from the situation. Now the point is to rationalize the mistake too analyze and you too to apologize.
1. When you have calmed down, analyze your mistake.
Ask yourself the following questions: Why did the mistake happen to you? What should you have noticed? What can you do in the future so that this doesn’t happen to you again? Who do you think you hurt?
- For example, you didn’t clean the coffee maker at work when you were the last person to use it on Friday afternoon. Now others have made you aware that you made a mistake. You feel uncomfortable because you haven’t been working there long. Rationally, you may have made a mistake because no one has explained this rule to you before. Or because the briefing went too fast when you started working there. You can now take care to avoid this mistake in the future. And you can make a habit of asking when something is not very clear.
2. Have the courage to apologize.
If you’ve made a mistake, you feel guilty towards certain people. It can help to address the bug openly. Sincerely ask for their forgiveness and explain why you did this.
This step is often easier said than done. Because admitting mistakes is often associated with weakness in our society. But the American scientist Brené Brown found something else in her research. Your thesis that is to show yourself vulnerable one Sign of strength is. Because it takes a lot of courage to stand by your downside. In the article “How to see vulnerability as strength“Let’s take a closer look at Brené Brown’s research.
Your friends, colleagues or supervisors may be surprised at your proactive step. At the same time you prove that you conflict management master and deal with your own mistakes. Ultimately, the exchange can help you, yours get rid of guilty conscience.
This is how you view mistakes correctly
We have three more tipsthat will help you classify mistakes correctly.
1. See mistakes as a challenge rather than a weakness.
“The biggest mistake that a person can make is always to be afraid of making a mistake yourself.” This quote is said to Dietrich Bonhoeffer. That means: don’t be afraid of wrong decisions. Rather see mistakes than Exercise program.
- In school, for example, you had to solve similar tasks several times before you understood a concept. In the same way, it can happen in the job that you need a little practice before you can work on tasks properly. This is not a reason to be ashamed – it can actually encourage you to do it right next time. Failure can be a personal challenge to grow.
2. Learn that mistakes say nothing about your self-worth and abilities.
That, too, is easier said than done. Just because you’re wrong once doesn’t say anything about your intelligence or your character. If you often have doubts about this, create one cheat sheet with qualities that others appreciate in you.
Put the cheat sheet in your cell phone case or wallet – so you always have it with you. If you make a mistake and feel bad, you can take it out and remind you that that one mistake doesn’t define you.
3. Understand that others are only human too.
Don’t forget that everyone is the world subjective perceives. Your mistake may seem tragic to you, but a friend or colleague might classify it as a minor matter.
Tip: Open feedback from someone who means well to you is worth its weight in gold. The feedback can support your learning process to deal with your mistakes more relaxed in the future.
In addition, people around you make mistakes that you may not even notice.
Read more on Techzle.com:
- Shame: This is how you can deal with the feeling
- Forgive and Forgive: Why It’s Good for You and Your Relationships
- Learning to let go: With these tips you can do it