Self-compassion is especially important in difficult times like Corona. Often we are forgiving of the mistakes of others, but don’t care enough about our own psyche. Self-compassion can help you become more serene in life.
Self-compassion is not self-pity
Self-compassion may sound like self-pity, but it is by no means the same. Self-pity makes you bury yourself and it is all too easy to get caught in spirals negative thoughts. self-pity can lead to biting self-criticism and worsen your condition. You blame the whole world and yourself for your suffering and ask why it hit you of all people.
If, on the other hand, you feel with yourself instead of just suffering, you will become mild and learn to understand yourself better. You will learn that not only do you have bad experiences, but that they are part of life for the vast majority of people. Is considered a pioneer of self-compassion Kristin Neff, Professor of Psychology.
You can also give yourself the understanding and consolation that you bring to friends when things are going badly for them. And you should do that too. Because especially in difficult times it is important that you can forgive yourself for mistakes and take care of yourself lovingly. Self-compassion is not a weakness.
Many fear that without self-criticism they will become negligent and fail to achieve their goals. That is a fallacy. Dr. Leon Winterscheid writes that “with relentless self-criticism” one undermines “one’s own strength”. (Feel better, P.139) So you should try to look at yourself as if you were looking at a friend and not be too hard on yourself.
You can do things that you enjoy and sometimes consciously switch off the thought of meaning and purpose. You can try new things do sports, cook, learn a language. Or you just treat yourself to relaxation, for example in the form of a massage or a long walk.
Psychology of Self Compassion
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If you encounter yourself with self-compassion, you will soon notice how negative thought clouds dissolve. You will understand your emotions and thoughts better.
That doesn’t mean that you just walk around with rose-colored glasses. But that also means that you no longer paint everything black. A certain serenity facing the ups and downs of life comes when you practice self-compassion. (Feel better, P.138 ff)
Self-compassion goes with it Mindfulness Hand in hand. If you can perceive and experience the moment better, you will feel more comfortable. If you give more weight to the present than the thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow, then you will automatically be more sensitive and friendly towards yourself. Above all else, self-compassion can preventive effect develop and reduce susceptibility to mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety disorders.
You can find out whether you have enough self-compassion or if you still have some catching up to do at this point. What statements Applying to you gives clues about how careful you are with yourself.
Lots of self-compassion:
• You try to see your mistakes as part of human nature.
• When you feel bad, you try to approach your feelings with curiosity and openness.
• You try to be understanding and patient with those features of your personality that you do not like.
Little self-compassion:
• When you feel down, you tend to focus only on what is wrong.
• When you feel bad, you believe that most other people are probably happier than you.
• If you notice qualities in yourself that you do not like, it depresses you.
Hupfeld, J., Ruffieux, N: Validation of a German version of the Self-Compassion Scale (SCS-D). In: Z. Klin. Psychol. Psychother. 40, pp. 115-123, 2011
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