Should the gap in ages between the consenting adults in a relationship matter? The short answer to that is, of course, not. Although singles are drawn to those from a similar background – at university, social events, and so on – human nature is complicated. People can be attracted to others they might appear to have little in common with, sometimes from different generations. Society does have limits when it comes to acceptance, with large disparities in age liable to raise eyebrows. The motives of a young person being linked with someone older who is affluent might be questioned. This arrangement will give rise to derogatory terms, such as ‘gold digger.’ But nobody can deny that love can also be the basis for these partnerships. So let’s take a closer look at the psychology that underpins age gap relationships. How do they come about? When does the gap become an issue? And how does this affect the individuals involved?
1 Does Age Difference Matter Nowadays?
Age-gap relationships are not a modern issue. Looking back into history in the UK, it was far more common for men to take younger wives than the other way round. This was particularly the case if a man was widowed and was looking for someone else to fulfill the role of bringing up his children. In the late 18th-century, the English author Jane Austen wrote hugely influential novels describing young women vying for the attention of rich suitors. In the contemporary era, the advent of the Internet has cast a whole new light on the phenomena of age gap dating.
This has led to distinct sociological groups emerging, such as ‘cougars’ or ‘sugar daddies.’ Cougar dating in the UK is particularly vibrant, with websites becoming a social hub for older women who remain at their peak sexually and are financially stable. These singles are seen as highly desirable by much younger males. The online environment is a convenient way to establish a rapport. Algorithms within these digital outlets can match members according to a range of criteria, and one of the most straightforward of these is by age range.
2 Why Do Men Choose Younger Women?
The main reason a mature guy would gravitate to much younger partners is down to biology. A UK study revealed that males mature much later than females, so they aren’t always ready to settle into stable relationships. As women grow older, the ligaments within breast tissue lose their elasticity, causing breasts to sag. So men are naturally attracted to girls whose physiques remain youthful-looking.
Younger girls appreciate being the objects of desire and often actively seek out sugar daddies. These aging lotharios might find themselves the butt of jokes, but the last laugh is on them. Young women have always found rich older men desirable. As one zoologist observed, “If males can display ostentatiously (when aging) then they really have to have something going for them.”
If many young females are driven by sexual desire and go clubbing looking for one-night stands, others in their social circle will be seeking partners who are more trustworthy and whose bank balances make them more viable for bringing up families.
3 Older Women Looking for Younger Men
The flip side of that arrangement is also widespread. Middle-aged women can find themselves single again for various reasons. Their marriage might have ended in divorce or becoming widowed. But rather than being attracted to a man their age, whose sexual stamina might be lagging behind theirs, they will be ready to make a fresh start in life with someone much more virile. The good news for these so-called cougars is that there is no shortage of fit dudes who are queuing up to get acquainted with these hot femme fatales! Again, although there are entire dating sites dedicated to this phenomenon, there’s nothing new about it. You only have to think of the classic Hollywood films depicting older women oozing a cool sensuality.
4 How Age Difference May Impact Your Relationship
People whose ages are some distance apart will always dwell on the things they have in common, rather than fixating on aspects where their tastes are different. Someone might prefer bubbly chart music while their older partner is into pop music from their heyday. On the other hand, teenagers will still listen to The Beatles, while seniors might find their toes tapping to the latest Ed Sheeran release. Loving couples will naturally find passions they can share, whether that’s having meaningful discussions about the environment and how climate change is affecting everyone to financial considerations. Pragmatically, there will be areas where the age gap could become an issue. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that our ability to do certain things diminishes as we grow older. Libido will fade to the extent that around 50% of males will experience erectile dysfunction at some point as they grow older.
A familiar adage states, ‘age is just a number.’ We have seen that while most people will be attracted to others within their demographic, this isn’t always the case. There are many instances of significant age gaps within relationships that remain committed and last just as long as any other. The bottom line is this. There aren’t hard and fast rules behind what attracts one person to another. It all boils down to individual situations and that marvelous attribute that binds us together: chemistry.