Arm BMW. At first, the whole of Twitter scoffed at the new 4 Series’ beaver-toothed grille. Now all hell breaks loose over the next monstrosity in the attention race. The electric iNext does look quite curious indeed. Again such a galactic, for an EV completely pointless grille and an elusive, if not inimitable, lines. He looks like an i3 artfully developed by Indian sheet metal workers, the guys who put together a 206 themselves in an unforgettable Peugeot commercial. I do find him intriguing and postpone my judgment until we come face to face. But put it on, twitterers. Is this possible and allowed? Is BMW going all the way? Of course not. Shame! BIZARRE!
Well, maybe they do it a bit in Bavaria too. Fuss is attention and that’s what it’s all about these days – there’s no business like show business. Still, at this inopportune moment, I want to stand up for BMW.
All brands struggle with design. Shape makes or breaks a car. You sell it there. So design is the new gold. Everyone is furiously looking for the next style hit. Especially now that in the near current age you cannot distinguish yourself in any other way than by appearance. Because soon all cars will be quiet, fast and digital. So some understanding for the manufacturers is in order.
I don’t like those new BMW noses either. I have to say that the anorectic tapeworm kidneys of BMWs from the 1950s and 1960s had probably fallen just as bad by now. These days it is not about who owns the beauty, it is about what appeals to the buyer.
That buyer has become an erratic thrill seeker. He likes something for a few years, and then suddenly he wants something completely different. He constantly demands new kicks, new tricks, new gadgets, if possible as visible as possible. Who got him so crazy? Ok, the manufacturers. But you will never get out of that vicious circle. And now the market and industry are frantically chasing each other with increasingly extreme incentives. It went from 14 to 20 inches and from baby to dinosaur eggs.
The design chef on duty is no longer the solid designer behind the scenes, as showmaster he has to ensure sold-out venues. If not – exit. Renault scored under Laurens van den Acker with fresh, lively design. And now Peugeot, which has built ugly cars for years, is launching one hit after another. The 3008 and 5008, the new 208 – each of them strong, recognizable designs. The people like that. But the party could be over by tomorrow.
It is even more difficult for prestige brands with their demanding target groups to strike the right note. Where a mainstream brand can only fail, the bar in the premium segment is paralyzing. A Bavarian masterpiece has to look more exclusive and special than the best successful Peug. What can be highly praised about BMW; it does not shy away from that challenge. It has the courage to burn old ships. Twice the course changed radically. First under Chris Bangle with his very controversial 5 and 7 series, now again with those bizarre noses and the rest – see the iNext. It dares to cast an anchor to a future that may look and feel very different from us. The taste of tomorrow cannot be predicted with today’s style standards.
The shitload that the poor Bangle got at the beginning of this century cannot be filmed. I also had to swallow then. It wasn’t until recently, to my surprise, that I dropped an appreciative word for Bangle’s 5-Series E60 that I realized how ugly I thought that car was sixteen years ago. It all worked out well, but I can imagine that his successor Van Hooijdonk sometimes secretly dreams at night of a temporary gallows for hate mongering trolls. Given the commercial interests involved, you have to respect the daring of his toko. You could say: BMW is to blame for its own sensational race. But there is no way back to the old normal. At Skoda yes, but if the Octavia was a BMW, no dog would buy it.