Some people hardly let others have a say in conversations, making equal communication almost impossible. You can find out which strategies can help you deal with this here.
Maybe you’ve had a conversation with someone who just talked about themselves the whole time and kept interrupting you. Maybe you didn’t even get the chance to say something in response.
As the person you are talking to, you may feel like there isn’t much you can do other than politely nod and smile and endure the monologue. However, there are strategies you can use to break up the one-sided conversation situation – without having to be rude.
Reasons for the flow of speech
There can be different reasons why people talk a lot. For example, people with low self-esteem and a resulting higher need for attention tend to talk excessively. In this case, a flow of speech can also help to cover up insecurities.
Increased activity in the brain can also play a role. If the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for language processing and production, is overstimulated, this can lead to people behaving more impulsively in conversation and speaking more often and for longer periods of time.
A particularly intense form of the compulsive speech is also known in medicine as logorrhea. Constantly speaking up and talking excessively becomes a compulsion for those affected. The phenomenon usually occurs as a side effect of mental or neurological illnesses. The consumption of alcohol, other drugs or caffeine can also encourage the compulsive speech.
When people talk too much: This helps
(Photo: CC0 / Pixabay / StockSnap)
If people keep turning the conversation around, being together can quickly become uncomfortable. In this case, the following strategies can help you break up the situation and allow yourself or other participants to have more of a say:
1. Back to topic
Most of us react primarily to the topic of a conversation, can identify it and react to it. We therefore only share our own experiences briefly or in relation to the interests of the group.
However, people who talk a lot about themselves do not focus on the topic itself, but only on how they themselves feel about the topic. For example, if a person says that they have just returned from London, some people use this opportunity to talk in detail about their own trips to London. In such cases, it is often efficient to wait for a pause in the conversation and then redirect the focus of the conversation back to the person who first brought up the topic.
2. Small group size
The size of the group can have a strong influence on participation in the conversation. Groups of more than six people tend to not allow some people to speak or only allow them to speak for a very short time. Dividing the group into several smaller conversations with two, three or four people promotes equal participation.
3. Reduce redundancy
Some people not only talk about a certain topic for far too long, but also repeat themselves over time. If this is the case, you can tell the other person what you already know about the topic or what the person has already said. From this point on, you have given yourself the opportunity to share your own thoughts and experiences on the topic.
4. Change your conversation position
One possible cause of excessive talking is that people see themselves as superior. When people talk about themselves, they ultimately see themselves as experts. That’s why people who talk a lot like to keep the focus on their activities and experiences and thus maintain their expertise. You can break this by deliberately shifting the focus of the conversation to another topic in which you or other participants have more experience.
5. Change your own behavior
Sometimes we unconsciously encourage people who talk a lot to continue to dominate the conversation, for example by continuing to nod politely and smile. But signs of impatience (for example, constantly checking your smartphone) can also encourage people to just keep talking. Constant interruptions, on the other hand, can lead to competition and unpleasant interpersonal tensions.
You can try to keep your facial expression as neutral as possible, not say anything, and not use any gestures or facial expressions. This way, people who talk a lot lack the necessary counterpart in the conversation.
6. Speak directly
If you use the right tone, there is nothing wrong with addressing the person about their excessive talking. However, the focus should be on how it affects us personally, rather than criticizing the person or even embarrassing them in a group. For example, we can ask: “Can we take turns in the conversation?” or “I would like us all to have the opportunity to speak!”
Read more on Techzle\.com:
- Four-ears model: communication square for more understanding conversations
- Active listening: techniques and methods
- Constructive criticism: How to give it correctly
** marked with ** or orange underlined Links to sources are partly affiliate links: If you buy here, you are actively supporting Techzle\.com, because we then receive a small part of the sales proceeds. .