Many people associate vulnerability with fear and shame. The US scientist Brené Brown is convinced that vulnerability is also a source of joy and love. We explain why.
The power of vulnerability
The US scientist Dr. Brené Brown has been studying vulnerability and shame for over 20 years. Your video titled “The power of vulnerability” with almost 47 million viewers is one of the most frequently seen TED talks. We explain what Brown means by the power of vulnerability and how you can use it in practice. To do this, we first have to deal with shame.
Showing weakness triggers shame
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When people meet, it happens according to Brown As a rule, the following: First, the people analyze each other for their vulnerable, weak points. At the same time, an attempt is made to hide one’s own vulnerability as much as possible. Because your own vulnerability is the last thing that people want to reveal about themselves.
Vulnerability can weakness mean. You may also know the negative feeling of being afraid of what others may think of you. Or you sometimes think about yourself that you are not good enough. Brown arranges these feelings shame to.
Overcome shame through conscious vulnerability
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All people know the feeling of shame. It appears when you assume that you are the only person who can be embarrassed. Or if you fear that fellow human beings might recognize your dark side. Shame slows down life because it makes people unproductive, paralyzes and makes them feel isolated and worthless.
But according to Brown, you overcome your shame by Solidarity to other people. That means a lot of courage because you trust someone in the bond and make yourself vulnerable. Therefore, the person you are addressing should be understanding and empathy have. Because everyone human experience is also experienced by other people. By feeling understood by another person, you free yourself from your isolation – you overcome your shame.
Vulnerability then turns from Brown to “place of birth“Of courage and other meaningful experiences.
The positive effects of vulnerability
Brown assumes that people who perceive their vulnerability can more consciously feel positive feelings such as joy, creativity, trust, attachment or love.
In her TED talk (minute 14:23), Brown describes the effects of numbing your vulnerability instead. They can also dampen positive feelings. That is why it is important to be vulnerable allow. It is a sign that you are “alive” and have access to your feelings.
The courage to be vulnerable depends on self-esteem
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Through her Research Brown also found that people with high self-esteem have little difficulty in showing themselves vulnerable. In her TED talk, Brown’s study presents several similarities that people with high self-esteem have:
- One thing in common (minute 8:34) is that, according to Brown, these people from “whole heart” Life. You have the courage to be imperfect.
- In difficult situations, they can also treat themselves lovingly and then others.
- Another commonality (minute 9:31) is that people with high self-esteem feel their vulnerability accept without restriction. They understand their own vulnerability as a profit, which is part of it. It is part of life for them to show willingness to be vulnerable, although there may be no guarantee. There are plenty of examples with risk from life: Vulnerability is shown by the willingness to say “I love you” first or to invest in a relationship that may not work.
On the other hand, people who do not have a high self-esteem often do not feel good enough and are quickly ashamed. We give you helpful tips and exercises on how to do yours Strengthen self-esteem can.
3 tips for more courage to be vulnerable
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1. Think of bold actions that are in your past.
Think about where you have acted bravely in your life. It could have been a year abroad, a breakup from a relationship, or a difficult test that you passed.
Certainly you took a big risk in these situations and your vulnerability was very high. Ask yourself the question: What gave you the courage to continue? Write down your thoughts on this. Draw resources from your experiences to be thankful for your life.
2. Work to accept yourself as an imperfect person.
Perfectionism troubles many people. They do not feel good enough and can hardly handle their own mistakes. Learn to share your own actions or mistakes that shame you with others. That is courage to be vulnerable. Make sure that there is a good framework of trust. It’s not about sharing something very intimate with strangers. You can regret that afterwards. But trust people in your familiar environment that they can endure your vulnerability and get you out of isolation.
3. Be ready to respond emphatically to the vulnerability of others.
If someone shows you to be vulnerable, try to put yourself in the person. Listen to her carefully. Help her with your human experiences so that she can relativize the problem as “human”. This will help her take better care of herself.
Reading tip on vulnerability
If you want to deal more intensively with the topic, there is another reading tip from us: In her bestseller “Vulnerability makes you strong: How we give up our protective mechanisms and become rich internally”, Brené Brown explained her theory in more detail. You can buy the book at **book7, **Thalia, **buecher.de, **Amazon or buy the bookstore you trust.
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- Self-esteem: this is how you can strengthen them