Very often you hear people say that as an argument against the growing politically correct language. Then when someone says something that might feel rude to another person, and the latter makes a comment about it, the other person says “don’t be like that” or “you choose to be offended.” Since language is a construction where we as humans give meaning to words, it seems logical to me that you as an individual can then choose to neutralize the meaning of one or more words and not care about it. Or is it that there is an obligation somewhere that forces you to feel insulted? On the other hand, isn’t it true that some words can seriously hurt people, especially when they relate to something that is close to your heart?
Answer
Hi Lander,
Being offended is by definition unpleasant, so I think people don’t consciously choose to be offended at first. If someone calls me an idiot, I don’t choose that “idiot” is usually used as a swear word to insult and I will probably automatically, at first, feel verbally abused and slightly offended. I think the idea that someone chooses to be offended is usually a form of counterfactual thinking that arises from misunderstanding. Affection can easily make someone feel offended, but it’s also easy to blame and hard to pin down. For example, if a biologist calls man an animal, some people who see animals as inferior may feel offended, while the word “animal” may not hold any moral value to a biologist. Do some of those people have an affectation? Or is it just a misunderstanding? Both?
Now, once someone feels insulted, that person can indeed deal with it in different ways: the person may think that the insult is justified to a greater or lesser extent, feel attacked, think about it, ignore the insult, assume that there is no is of a (deliberate) insult, etc… You could interpret this list as different options, of which one is aware or not. At the same time, I think that people’s conscious powers of choice are always limited by all kinds of things (available information and time, past experiences, mental abilities, etc…) and that many unconscious elements always determine our behavior with them. People’s thinking is fallible and rationally limited (E: bounded rationality), although we can also train our conscious, rational powers of choice.
Conclusion: Whether a person chooses to be offended depends on their awareness of the option not to be offended. Once aware of this, it would be rational to choose not to be offended, but that doesn’t mean it will happen.
Finally, I think it is everyone’s responsibility to offend others as little as possible.
Answered by
Ben De Groeve
Evolution Ecology Meat consumption Vegetarianism Behavioral change
http://www.ugent.be
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