Helper syndrome: 5 characters that you could have it

The helper syndrome is a psychological phenomenon that can put a lot of strain on both those affected themselves and their social environment. We explain to you how to recognize the helper syndrome and how you can possibly break away from it.

We now almost use the term “helper syndrome” in everyday language. Not everyone who likes to help other people suffers from this psychological phenomenon. Instead, helper syndrome is a complex problem, the origins of which usually go back to early childhood. If it is not recognized in time, it can also result in serious consequences for those affected.

What is helper syndrome?

The term helper syndrome goes back to psychoanalyst Wolfgang Schmidbauer. He described the phenomenon for the first time in 1977. Schmidbauer attributes the helper syndrome, especially to a childhood in which those affected did not experience sufficient security, love and support. This in turn results in a reduced self -esteem.

For these people, help has become a method of fighting for recognition and affection that was denied to them in their childhood. People who are affected by helper syndrome are therefore often found in social professions, for example as a nurse: inside, doctors: inside, teachers or social worker: inside.

The constant feeling of being needed and sacrificing and having to give up is a central part of helper syndrome. In the following we present five concrete signs that can indicate that you are affected by this psychological problem. In this case, we recommend that you search for professional help, for example in the form of psychotherapy.

1) You pass your own needs in helper syndrome

In principle, you organize your life to help or support other people and no longer notice what your own needs are? This is a characteristic indication of helper syndrome.

Since you are constantly transferred to your needs, which might also require peace, silence and relaxation, you feel constantly exhausted and exhausted. This permanent burden can manifest itself in stress symptoms such as tension, tremors, sleep disorders or headaches and possibly lead to burnout.

2) You pass the needs of your fellow human beings

That sounds paradoxical at first – after all, people who suffer from helper syndrome want to support their fellow human beings. The problem, however, is that those affected help even if the other person has not asked for it and does not want to accept or use the help. This can be stressful for people from the social environment of those affected, since they always feel pushed into the corner and are limited in their free ability to act.

The intended help may even do damage and then triggers frustration and disappointment on both sides.

3) With helper syndrome you do not work on your own goals

According to the graduate psychologist Doris Wolf, people with helper syndrome are so lost in her mission to help other people that they have hardly any of their own or neglect them. As a result, those affected no longer have their own living content and are completely dependent on their fellow human beings.

4) You set into a co-dependency

The helper syndrome is often also noticeable in the partner: interior choice. In this way, people with helper syndrome tend to enter into a relationship with people who can pay a lot – i.e. people who have a low degree of independence.

These are often, for example, people who suffer from an addiction. This creates a co-dependency in the relationship. This means that the person affected by the helper syndrome, for example, takes on the problems of the addicted partner or the addictive partner and sometimes suffers even more from addiction and their effects than the dependent person himself.

5) Help syndrome: You refuse help yourself

People who suffer from helper syndrome see themselves solely in the role of: the helping. According to Doris Wolf, this leads to the fact that they are unable to accept support from fellow human beings. Because then they would take off their self -imposed role.

This aspect in turn increases the risk of exhaustion, depression and other mental illnesses.

Helper syndrome: This is how you leave it behind you

If you have the suspicion of suffering from helper syndrome or address your environment about the phenomenon, you should first get psychological advice. Only in direct conversation with psychologically trained experts: You can get a well -founded diagnosis inside. In order to make physiotherapy, you already have to overcome your first major inhibition to accept help. This can feel very unusual and uncomfortable, especially at the beginning.

It is important to uncover the following aspects:

• Self -reflection: First of all, you have to recognize that you tend to disregard your own needs and to work for your fellow human beings beyond a healthy level.

• Recognize motifs: An important part of the processing is also the realization that you want to help other people above all to experience recognition and affection themselves. You may be playing to sacrifice yourself for others. But above all, self -centered motifs also motivate you.

• Psychotherapy: In therapy you can then process where your urge comes from for gratitude and recognition.

• Finding alternatives: Perhaps you will find other ways in conversation to strengthen your self -esteem in a healthy way. It is also important to understand that you are a full and valuable person – also without you working for others to exhaustion.

• No say: To overcome the helper syndrome, you also have to learn to say “no”. You can find out more about this topic here: No say: This is how you learn to differentiate yourself.

• Learn self -care: After all, you should also get to know methods of self -care. For example, with relaxation exercises, yoga, meditation or hobbies, in which you go completely, do something good and, above all, support yourself on your way. Because before you can help other people in a healthy measure, you just have to offer help yourself.

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Revised by Paula Boslau

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