Learn empathy: this is how you become more empathetic

Put yourself in others’ shoes and empathize with them: empathy is not always easy and sometimes even painful. We explain how you can learn empathy.

What empathy is and why it is important

The Duden describes empathy as the ability and also the willingness to empathize with another person. Above all, it’s about empathizing with each other’s feelings, but also his thoughts and attitudes.

Science distinguishes between emotional empathy and cognitive empathy: The former denotes actual empathy with another person. Cognitive empathy, on the other hand, describes the ability to put oneself in someone else’s mind, that is how they describe it Researcher from the University of Florida and the University of South Alabama.

Psychologists think empathy is important because it makes you a fairer and more helpful person. That says the so-called Empathy-altruism hypothesis. As a rule, we show most empathy towards people who are particularly close to us. But newer ones research results also indicate that vegetarians or vegans are particularly empathetic people. This shows that we are also able to show compassion to creatures that are not close to us and indicates that some people are inherently more empathetic than others.

Empathy – yes, but in moderation

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However, empathy does not only have positive sides: sometimes too much empathy and compassion can also make us overwhelm. This then leads to what is known as empathic stress. If we are confronted with too much suffering, it quickly happens that we hide it and do not help at all.

Psychology professor Paul Bloom goes even further in his book “Against Empathy”. He warns that compassion blinds us to where we can best help.

On the other hand, empathy also creates Solidarity with others. According to the Psychologist Michael Inzlicht from the University of Toronto it is important how we use empathy. For example, if we suffer too much with someone, it can obscure our view of the overall situation and we cannot help the other effectively. And in the Science debate about empathy is the opinion that empathy is not a state to which we are at the mercy, but that we can control and train empathy.

Learning empathy properly: two ways to empathize with others

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The Psychologist Olga Klimecki describes two basic ways to empathize with others: pity and compassion.

Who with others pitywho feels the pain of the other as if it were his own. This leads to strong negative emotions. And then often we withdraw and shield ourselves from each other to escape these negative emotions.

In contrast, we encounter people compassionate, if we treat them with “benevolence” and “loving-kindness”, says Olga Klimecki. Then we feel a sense of care towards the other, combined with the need to help. When we sympathize, we do not feel the other person’s negative feelings, but positive feelings towards him.

And actually found it Researcher, including Olga Klimecki, out: The emotional stress that comes from compassion moves us less often than others to help someone else than compassion.

Learn empathy: these methods will help you

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One method of learning empathy is the so-called “Loving Kindness Meditation “ (or “metta meditation”), which Olga Klimecki also used in her study for the difference between pity and compassion. How meditation works:

1. Sit upright in a comfortable position.
2. Let your breath flow freely and concentrate on your breathing.
3. Feel how your breath flows in and out and where it flows.
4. Just watch your breathing for five to ten breaths.
5. When your thoughts drift away, gently guide them back to your breathing.
6. Next, it can help you visualize a loved and trusted person. It creates a feeling of warmth and closeness when you feel the kindness and kindness of that person.
7. Reinforce this feeling by saying these sentences internally: “May I be free and happy”, “May I be healthy”, “May I live in peace and security”, “May I …”
8. Gradually you extend this feeling to more people, first family and friends, then distant acquaintances, …
9. In addition, you speak the following phrases internally: “May you be free and happy”, “May you be healthy”, “May you live in peace and security”, “May you …”

The meditation can take three minutes, or over an hour, as you like. It is best to meditate every day.

In addition to meditation, there are many more other methods how to learn empathy:

• First of all, yours is important Basic attitude: Try to meet others with real interest and listen carefully to them. Ask questions and try to read between the lines what the other person wants to tell you.
• Learning empathy has a lot to offer observe to do: First of all you have to properly perceive your surroundings and your fellow human beings. you can practice this by walking through the world with open eyes and ears. Think about what others are doing or how they are doing.
• You can also “Feedback ” Get: Ask if you understood that correctly or if you correctly interpret the feelings of your counterpart.
• It can help yourself in others Put roles in: What does this role feel, how does it act? Role playing and theater can help you learn and train empathy.

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