You made father happy on Father’s Day forty years ago with these car knick-knacks

In the old days, shops like Halfords were a kind of Jamin for car junkies. Every self-respecting city had such a Valhalla with walls full of things that no one wanted, but that everyone wanted. Because your car as the manufacturer intended it, that was of course much too boring and ordinary. Apart from that, there was a lot more to add to cars in those years than today. But still, who wouldn’t want to secretly poke around in such a store full of wrong junk in 2023? Walk along!

Protection plate behind keyhole

In the days when central locking with remote control was still exotic, the area around your keyhole soon became a jungle of light scratches. Only the more expensive models sometimes wanted to have a light in the key, but the button cell was soon empty and then it was time to search for the keyhole at night. Fortunately, there were those protective plates made of soft plastic, usually silver-grey with a brand logo on them. That had to look like chrome and it hardly did that in the store. After some time in the sun they were urine yellow and you longed for the scratches underneath. Which, after removing those ugly pictures, were accompanied by stubborn glue residues.

Mud flaps

Another fine example of ‘the cure is worse than the disease’: mud flaps. Of course, mud splashes around your wheel arches are not very pretty, but those slabs of rubber underneath were just as ugly. Fortunately, they were black, which made them less noticeable. But that was often negated with white brand logos or even orange reflectors.

Cassette quality CD

In the mid-1980s, the transition from LP to CD or, in the car, from cassette to CD took place. Those who could not afford a new car radio/CD player managed with a portable CD player. Aux connections were not there yet, but the accessory industry was not easy to catch. An adapter in the form of a cassette with an analog cable with a headphone plug was swallowed up by your old radio/cassette player and hoppa, ‘The final countdown’ sounded just as bad on CD as on cassette.

Flash fairy tale: CD to dazzle speed cameras

CDs were not only useful as a sound carrier, they also had a pleasant side effect. Clamped behind the windshield, they reflected radar beams, blinded speed cameras or whatever nonsense was being used. The police never got a failed flash photo at the hands of a compact disc, but we believed in it en masse, as witnessed by the countless shiny discs behind windscreens. Or maybe the contents were so worthless that the owner wanted to keep the CD as far from his player as possible.

Think of me!

A picture of mother and the woman on your dashboard, who wouldn’t want that? You also had the think of me lists in multiple versions, so that the children or even Fikkie could also access them. We cannot substantiate it with facts, but we dare to assume that this was a popular Father’s Day gift at the time. Popular among the giving party then, because the inscription was imperious for a reason. Even the inveterate bachelor had fun with such a list. Much too beautiful out of your leaguewoman from a foreign magazine and you impressed your co-drivers.

A Turbo sticker

Turbo was the porn of the 1980s. If your car didn’t have a turbo, you went to the store and bought a turbo nameplate. Incidentally, manufacturers themselves were not averse to some non-information on the back: double overhead camshaft (who cares?), 2 airbags (congratulations) or Twin Spark (well, well!).

No more nausea thanks to rubber drag strip

It must have been mistaken for a cut brake line, but a rubber drag strip under the car was supposed to rid the coach of static electricity. Never again an optater if you wanted to open the door and it also reportedly helped against motion sickness. Although the latter seems to us to be little medically substantiated.

A telephone antenna

Nowadays you even get bullied as a toddler if you don’t walk around with the latest smartphone model, but in the roaring 80’s the car phone was still something super exclusive. GSM was not rolled out across our country until the early 1990s, so we had to make do with a ramshackle analogue network. Only if you were really important would you have such an expensive option in your car. Of course, the less prominent people didn’t let that go over their side, because for a few guilders you had an indistinguishable fake telephone antenna that you stuck to your rear window in a jiffy. We call!

Louvers on rear and side windows

Your car with sun blinds became very premium. Roller blinds on the parcel shelf kept out the heat and shielded the distinguished occupants from prying eyes. For those who thought that was too subtle, there were also slats that you mounted on the outside of your car. At least on the rear window, but a little guy also provided the rear side windows with such black blinds. We don’t want to think what the street scene would have been like if the law hadn’t banned these things on the front windows.

bumper strips

Nice and uncontrolled throwing open your door without worrying about damage (to your own car that is)? That was possible with the plastic bumper strips that you clamped around the edge of the door. They weren’t ugly enough on their own, so the manufacturer also added orange reflectors. Very safe, that’s for sure.

Sheepskin on steering wheel and seat

Specialists who know everything about colors and materials work in the design department of car manufacturers, but of course we didn’t let those smarties lecture us. You had seat and steering wheel covers in countless shades and fabrics. Almost complete sheep enjoyed a second life as seat covers, or even around the steering wheel. But bead mats were also popular, especially among taxi drivers who believed in a beneficial effect for the back. We wouldn’t be surprised if there were studded variants for the Indian market at the time.

False alarm

As icing on the cake, the cheap alarm system should of course not be missing, if only to keep all the other splendor out of the hands of car burglars. Not that anyone cared about those screaming Halfords sirens, because they went off at every Pekingese peeing against your tire. Unless something was really going on, of course, because those alarm systems were the Pekingese among the watchdogs.